Monday, February 7, 2011

No Decent Place For American Cartoons

This is a Cartoon Historian Special Presentation!

Ah,American Cartoons. Remember the good ol' days when they had a nice home. Networks like Cartoon Network and Program Blocks like the Disney Afternoon and Fox Kids were great places to watch American Cartoons without the B.S. Unfortunatly...Those Days Are Dead.

What I mean is that a vast majority of content on these networks are terrible(program blocks,shows,crappy music vids,unneeded psa's,ect.). And you can't watch cartoons on said networks without running into advertisments or promos of that bad content.

This can and will ruin your experience,as it's a painfull reminder on how terrible that network has become (sorry,but the grin and bear it crap doesn't work that well). Cartoon Network is the best overall example of this.

Today,I'm gonna talk about how the Great American Cartoon lost a decent place in our culture. Let's start from the beginning.

It all started when the Networks decided to toss out their Weekday Afternoon and Sunday Morning blocks in favor of Bullshit. However,all was still not lost. We had Nickelodeon,Disney Channel,Cartoon Network and 3 Very Cool Saturday Morning blocks,as well as a Sunday block on ABC Family.

In the mid-2000's,everything started to go bad. First it was the Saturday Morning Blocks,when they decided to limit the number of American Toons,in favor of crappy Canadian shows,Live Action shows and Anime.

When ABC's SatAM block turned into ABC Kids the vast majority of their shows were Live Action. When the Fox Kids became The Fox Box,and then 4Kids TV,the Only American show was Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2k3 and,later,Biker Mice from Mars.

A bit after the the "CW buyout",Kids WB became the worst offender. The vast majority of cartoons were Canadian. Why? Kids WB is an American Block,not a Canadian one. Shitheaded Network Exects,gotta learn that America isn't Canada and we have different tastes in entertainment. >:(.

Anyway soon after[very soon in fact],Saturday Morning TV had passed away. When 4Kids took over,Anime was the dominant form of entertainment on that network's SatAM block.

Today,4Kids' CW 4Kids'/Toonzai is 100% Anime dominated. Damn! Damn! DAMN!. Let's talk about Nick and Disney now shall we?

Both Nick and Disney Channel,in their hay day,aired a decent amount of American Cartoons. They even had networks dedicated to them (nicktoons network and toon disney respectively). Today on the other hand,Nick and Disney Channel barely air cartoons at all. Nickelodeon aired more toons than The Disney Channel,but they were still in the minority. And the ones that Do air on Nick are Retarded...the exception being Spongebob Squarepants.

The only Cartoons on the Disney Channel are Phineas and Ferb and that Putrid,poor excuse for a Disney Cartoon Show,Fishhooks (c'mon ditzney,I know you can do much better than this!).

And then there's Nicktoons Network and Disney XD. Before Ditzney XD even existed we had Toon Disney. Before that damn Jetix takeover,Toon Disney was a great place for Cartoons,however this wouldn't last. Today,Disney XD doesn't show many cartoons. In fact most of the ones they DO show are really really shitty and only 3 of them are American (kick buttowski,Phineas and ferb,and avengers).

The Good cartoons only air very late at night and extremely early in the morning. That's just Wrong. As for Nicktoons Network,it used to be a decent place for good American Cartoons,unfortunately nowadays,most of the good american toons are being kicked out in favor of sucky shows..including Live Action ones (UGH!).

And now,I'll talk about Cartoon Network. Cartoon Network used to be all about the Great American Cartoon. But ever since Stuart Snyder took over,Cartoon Network. The Vast Majority of Todays Cartoon Network shows are: Shittastic Canadian Cartoons,Retarded Live Action and Reality shows,and of course brainless American Cartoons. And don't get me started on the Live Action Movies.

Oh,And Adult Swim is Total Shit! 'Nuff Said! And I don't even wanna talk about Comedy Central or Fox! Y'know,ever since Boomerang started airing more commercial breaks,it's become completely unwatchable. Most of these "commercials" are Cartoon Network Advertisements. And whats worse,these "Commercial Breaks" are both long and often.

*sighs* Snyder,You Are Gonna Pay for Your Crime In Hell!

Anyway,now we come to the newest network that air cartoons,The Hub. The Hub is a channel that airs a lot of Cartoons. Unfortunately most of them are Canadian and Pre-School crap. Though,in their defense,the few American Cartoons they Do air are pretty damn great.

You have shows like: Batman Beyond,Men in Black: The Series,Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego,Transformers American G1,and The Original G.I.Joe. G.I. Joe Renegades and Transformers Prime are pretty great too.

As you could tell,I have no beef with The Hub. In fact,I like it. And,despite it's flaws,The Hub is much better to watch than the other networks...especially Craptoon Network.

Hopefully,in the future,the Hub will be a decent place for American Cartoons. They gotta ditch the Pre-School and Canadian shows. I'm placing my hopes on The Hub.

In conclusion,I believe that there is no room for quality American Cartoons in todays retarded networks. Like I stated earlier,watching cartoons on those shitty networks,you'll also have to sit though the,often times frequent and long,commercial breaks that advertise and promote the shitty stuff that's on the very network you are watching. It's painful,really painful.

The Hub seems to be the ONLY network where you can watch American Cartoons without being totally disgusted by the promos. However,like I stated earlier,The Great American Cartoons are still in the Minority. I hope and pray that one day The Hub will air more American Cartoons.

Well that concludes this special. Hope you enjoyed it.

Rock On and Stay Gold,


Stefan said...

I totally forgot to mention Nickelodeon and The Disney Channel's Pre-School Blocks.


KingsSideCastle said...

It's sad but true. As much as I love anime I miss the Disney Afternoon and Fox Saturdays and weekday programming block (long gone). I hope one day there will be an American cartoon revival.