Monday, March 26, 2012

Why We Hate Stuart Snyder?! by Johhny Blaze a.k.a. The Ghost Rider

Johnny: "When we think of Cartoon Network, what one thought comes in mind? Cartoons, anime and other forms of animation, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 in a quarter days in a year, which includes leap year.  But, those days have since been over because of one man.  His name is Stuart Snyder.  He is the current president and CEO of Cartoon Network, after its former president, Jim Samples.  Here is a little history lesson on how this anti-cartoon socialpath came to power."

It all began on January 31th, 2007, Cartoon Network were promoting the Adult Swim show, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, by using LED devices to light the sky in promotion of the show.  Unfortunately, the Boston Police mistaken those LED devices as bombs. With 9/11 at the back of the minds of everyone, the Boston PD didn't want to take any chances.  Afterwards, the LEDs were removed and Cartoon Network paid a heavy price for their misfortune.

CN sufferred a serve blow, but the biggest blow they got is when Jim Samples, who has been Cartoon Network's president for 13 years, took responsibility for the incident and resigned, putting Stuart Snyder in charge of the network and he has been ever since.

Under Snyder's leadership, Cartoon Network went from a animated version of Val Halla, to the very thing Nickelodeon, Disney and G4 has become, random, stupid and unreconizable.  For starters, Snyder figured that most of Cartoon Network's line up of shows, even those we like like Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi, Johnny Bravo, The Powerpuff Girls and Samurai Jack, isn't doing so well, so he did the unthinkable, put live action shows and movies on Cartoon Network, including Dude, What Would Happen?, Destroy, Build, Destroy, and Hole in the Wall. Snyder figured that live action would make more money than animation, which is stupid.

Snyder may like the idea but not those who have been fans of Cartoon Network since the very beginning. Not only we get live action but also, shows from Canada, nothing against our neighbors from the north but if they knew about Snyder, they wouldn't sell their shows to him, and cartoons that are otherwise silly and not so funny in nature.  But, the biggest sin Snyder has ever committed is pulling the plug on one of the greatest action cartoon blocks of all time, and that block was Toonami.

Long ago, a friend of mine use to blame Ted Turner for Toonami's demise. But after doing some painful research and watching alot of videos on YouTube, he now knows, as I know now, that it was Snyder who committed the sin, not Turner. The only crime Turner committed is hiring Snyder in the first place.

Snyder has destroyed what Turner, William Hanna and Joe Barbera had created a long time ago.  Both Hanna and Barbera are rolling in the grave over this and I feel their pain.  A few years later, we were all hoping Snyder would finally get fired, but those hopes were dashed when CN renewed Dude, What Would Happen and Destroy, Build, Destroy instead of cancelling them. Although, the other shows like Unnatural History and Tower Prep were cancelled, Dude, Destroy and especially Hole in the Wall, are still on the air.

Because of the continue use of live action, Snyder is still in power and has been ever since.  To make matters worse, his anti-cartoon/pro-live action sediment has spread beyond Cartoon Network's borders, when other companies such as Viacom, were influenced by Snyder's business deals, when Sumner Redstone's people like Judy McGrath, Phillipe Dauman and Cyma Zarghami decided to put live action shows on NickToons like Big Time Rush, The Troop, Drake and Josh, Ned's Declassified, Supah Ninjas and Bucket & Skinner's Epic Adventures (more like Epic Failures if you ask me).  Why people like Zarghami, Dauman and Snyder hate cartoons is beyond me.

But all I know is this, even though Cartoon Network has a few good shows like Green Lantern, Young Justice and the Thundercats remake (which they haven't been shown as of late), it is ruined beyond repair with so much stupid cartoons (both American and Canadian) and live action shows and movies, including its new show, Level Up, a.k.a. Best Player/Power Team rip-off.  And as long as Snyder is in charge and his influence spreads across over every channel, animation will end up like the dinosaurs, extinct.

Johnny: "And that's my story.  It is bad enough the FCC helps soccer moms and watchdog groups kill off cartoon blocks on regular T.V.. But Snyder's anti-cartoon stance is even worse.  At least we got the Hub.  Though the network is new, it must be safeguarded, or else it will end up like the other networks, including Cartoon Network and NickToons.  If that Bombscare didn't happen, Mr. Samples would still be President and CEO of CN and fire whoever planed this in the first place and CN would still be the Val Halla of Animation.

Still, I still believe Cartoon Network has a chance to redeem itself and go back to its former glory.  Until that day comes, it has become a cartoon graveyard.  We will never forget you, CN, for all the good memories you have given us, including Toonami.  As for you, Mr. Snyder..."

*Johnny turns into the Ghost Rider*

Ghost Rider: "I don't know why you hate cartoons so much, but all I know is you have shed innocent blood with your blood money and for that, you will pay for your sins.  Your day of judgment...has finally come."

*Rode away on his devilish motorcycle*

*Tron: Legacy End Titles theme plays*

*Fade Out*

Thursday, March 15, 2012

The Cartoon Historian Presents: The DiC Memorial!

*Live from within the Cartoon Historian Classroom*

I was gonna talk about The Future of American Cartoons and how it looks grim. But,I've decided to go a different Route. Today I will be holding a Memorial to one of the greatest Cartoon Companies of the 80's and 90's. A Company that has long been gone,but never ever forgotton.

I'm talkin' about DiC. Now,this Memorial is for the most part a Redo of my Very first Cartoon Historian Lesson.

Anyway,some of you may hate DiC for what they did with Sailor Moon and even what they did to your favorite NES Video Game Characters in Captain N. I understand that geek rage quite a bit,however DiC's Horrors are vastly overshadowed by all of the wonderful things they Contributed to Television....especially the Animation Industry.

Mina: Founded in 1971 by frenchman Jean Chalopin in France,DiC began life as a subsidiary of Radio-Television Luxembourg (RTL). So Contrary to popular belief,DIC was originally a French Company.

Tom Z: The company's name was an acronym for Diffusion, Information et Communication. In addition to animated television shows,DIC also produced live-action stuff.

Though we're just gonna focus on their Animated works,since it Was what they did most and best.

Anyway,DIC'S American arm was established in 1982 by Andy Heyward,Robby London,and Michael Maliani. The American DiC was locaded in Burbank,California.

Mina: In 1986,Andy Heyward bought the company and DiC became 100% American controled. DiC was definatly at it's best in the 80''s 80's shows were great.

Tom Z: No question. Though the best was yet to come from them. The 90's had some awesome shows as well. Some even Toonami Worthy.

In 1993,DiC and Capital Cities/ABC formed a joint venture and by 1995 it became a subsidiary of The Walt Disney Company. Also,in 1995,DiC aquired the licence to Dub the Sailor Moon anime. The Dub got mixed reviews from Sailor Moon fans. Today,the SM dub has a cult following.

Mins: Other than this snafu,the 90's were a good time for DiC. However,In the 2k Years,things started to get very dark for the company.

In 2000,with an investment by Bain Capital,Heyward re-purchased DiC. In 2004,he purchased Bain Capital's interest and took the company public the following year.

Tom Z: In 2003,DIC launched a syndicated children's programming block called DiC Kids Network.Unfortunately for them,it sucked.

And the worst was yet to come....oh,it got real bad for DiC.

Mina: Oh boy,did it ever. In early 2006,DiC and CBS signed a multi-year deal to unveil a new 3-hour long programming block for Saturday mornings on CBS. And so,KOL Secret Slumber Party was launched the following fall on CBS. That block sucked even more. But lo and behold,it gets even worse. Tell'em Tom.

Tom Z: Afraid it does. Y'see On September of 2007,KEWLopolis premiered. This SatAM block was a joint venture between DiC,CBS,and American Greetings. This was one of DiC's biggest and most disgusting blunders. It was apparent that DiC's glory days were far behind them.

Tom Z: Right,and in April of 2007,DiC,Nelvana,and Sparrowhawk Media Group made plans to launch KidsCo an international children's entertainment network. It was a disaster. A disaster that DiC never recovered from.

Then *sighs* On June of 2008,DiC was acquired by Cookie Jar Group,a Canadian entertainment company. A month later,they completed the acquisition of DiC and became Cookie Jar Entertainment,a Canadian/American(mostly canadian) Hybrid Company.And so DiC met it's end.

Mina: Tragic. Seriously,tragic.

Tom Z: Amen to that.

Y'know guys,had DIC kept on pumping out cool cartoons like they did in the 80's and 90's,maybe it would've survived and the Canadian buyout wouldn't have taken place. I miss them. I really do.

Tom Z: Rest in peace DiC. Rest in eternal peace.

We leave you now with a list of DiC's Shows (both good and bad). Note that We'll Only list DiC's Programing,Not the Bullshit from Cookie Jar Entertainment. *sighs* I'd also like to thank Tom Z and Mina for assisting me in this. Until next time,Stay Gold.
Shows By DiC (most of them anyway):

Inspector Gadget
The Littles
Kideo TV
Wolf Rock TV
Kidd Video
Pole Position
Heathcliff and the Catillac Cats
Rainbow Brite
Jayce and the Wheeled Warriors
Dennis the Menace
The Real Ghostbusters
Beverly Hills Teens
Hello Kitty's Furry Tale Theater
The New Archies
Starcom: The U.S. Space Force
Sylvanian Families
Beany and Cecil
ALF: The Animated Series
ALF Tales
The Chipmunks
Ring Raiders
The Karate Kid
Camp Candy
Maxie's World
The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!
The Legend of Zelda
Captain N: The Game Master
Hulk Hogan's Rock 'n' Wrestling
G.I. Joe (DiC)
Power Team
The Wizard of Oz
Captain N & The Adventures of Super Mario Bros. 3
Captain Planet and the Planeteers (first season only)
New Kids on the Block
Swamp Thing
Captain N & Super Mario World
Where's Waldo?
Wish Kid
The Bots Master
Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventures (second season only)
Super Dave: Daredevil for Hire
Wild West C. O. W. -Boys of Moo Mesa (acquired from ABC Entertainment)
The Incredible Dennis the Menace
Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog
Sonic the Hedgehog (aka Sonic SatAM)
Arthur and The Knights of Justice
Street Sharks
Where on Earth Is Carmen Sandiego?
Bump in the Night (acquired from ABC Entertainment)
Action Man
Gadget Boy & Heather
Double Dragon
The New Adventures of Madeline
Sailor Moon (first 82 episodes)
The Legend of Sarmoti: Siegfried & Roy
Inspector Gadget's Field Trip
Gadget Boy's Adventures in History
Mummies Alive!
Extreme Dinosaurs
Pocket Dragon Adventures
Sonic Underground
Sabrina: The Animated Series
Archie's Weird Mysteries
Sherlock Holmes in the 22nd Century
Mary-Kate and Ashley in Action!
Alienators: Evolution Continues
Gadget and the Gadgetinis
Liberty's Kids
Stargate Infinity
Super Duper Sumos
Sabrina's Secret Life
Knights of the Zodiac/Saint Saiya (dubbed a few episodes)
Strawberry Shortcake
Care Bears: Adventures in Care-a-Lot
Sushi Pack (first season only)
Battletoads (this show only lasted a single episode)
Defenders of Dynatron City (another one-off by DiC.)
*fade to black. credits roll as the no closing theme plays*

DiC Entertainment

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

The Rise, Fall and (Possible) Rebirth of Sailor Moon! Chapter 1: Beginnings (Codename: Sailor V)

When we think of anime icons, we think of icons like Astro Boy, Gigantor, Speed Racer and such.  But, no anime icon is more unique and one of a kind than the Pretty Suited Soldier of Love and Justice, Sailor Moon. Since 1992, Sailor Moon has fought evil, not just in anime and manga, but also in real life.  Some battles she won, some she lost. And despite being overlooked by all media and being shunned by controversy, Sailor Moon is still popular than ever 20 years later.  But, how did this popular series came to be and why it is so special?  To answer these questions, we must go back to the beginning.

Narrator: "1,000 years ago, our Moon Kingdom was home to a..."

(stops the clip)

Not that beginning! The OTHER beginning, the one in real life, by a manga-ka named Naoko-chan.

In 1991, up and rising manga artist, Naoko Takeuchi created the starting point of this great series, which became known as Codename: Sailor V. The manga was created in 1991 and the serialization ran from May of 1993 to March of 1997 from Run Run magazine from Kodansha, the famed publisher for manga and other japanese literature.  Here's the story according the manga:

13-year old Minako Aino was just an ordinary girl, very beautiful, very athletic but not always bright when it comes to schoolwork and/or idolizing boys.  But her life changed forever when met a white cat named Artemis, who tells her that a dark, powerful evil force is threating to destroy the entire universe and with the aid of a mysterious benifactor only addressed as "Boss", Minako becomes the Soldier of Love and Beauty, Codename: Sailor V. Intially, she didn't take this senshi business seriously, but overtime, she accepted the responsibility to protect the planet.  Whether it's trapped in a video game or stranded in Greece, Sailor V fought against the evils of the mysterious Dark Agency, which is nothing more but a front of the true enemies, those of the evil Dark Kingdom, which I will talk about later.  Near the end of the series, Minako discovered that she was the princess of planet Venus and was one of the guardians of the moon princess, thus making her the senshi of love and beauty, Sailor Venus.

And that's the story. Codename: Sailor V was a decent series, with action, adventure, comedy and romance, something the sequel will have.  Even though the Sailor V story has ended.  This was just the beginning.

Next time: I will talk about the rise of the Pretty Suited Soldier of Love and Justice, Sailor Moon.

Until then, Stay Gold and Godspeed.

End of Line...

(Ai no Senshi plays in the background)

Fade out

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Special Song: Adventures of the Galaxy Rangers

This awesome theme is dedicated to those who want to preserve animation for future generations and bring justice by law to every soccer mom, watchdog group or politician who thinks animation is too childish and violent and everything in between.

This is the theme of the Adventures of the Galaxy Rangers.

No Guts, No Glory!

I remember this show a long time ago, when I had my old Beta tapes and Goose is one bad dude.

Stay Gold and Godspeed,

Jason a.k.a. DragonRanger1

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Jason joins the Cartoon Historian!


I am Jason aka Dragonranger1, I've come in peace.  It is an honor to be a part of the Cartoon Historian family, helping out my good buddy,Stefan.  I will keep my short-attention span at the front door and out.  I will help bring law, order and justice for all animation, including cartoons from the good ol' days like those in the 80s and 90s. Until then, if you need anything, I will be waiting.  Godspeed.

End of Line...

The Cartoon Historian Lesson Redo: He-Man: And The Masters of The Universe (80's)

Welcome to the 2nd in a long line of Lesson Redo's. Today's focus will be on He-Man and the Masters of the Universe. I'm Stefan

Mina: And I'm Mina. It's been awhile since we did one of these huh?


*Inside The CH Classroom*

He-Man is one of America's most iconic cartoon heroes. In fact,some people say that he's even More iconic than the legendary Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. He-Man and the Masters of the the Universe spawned 3 Cartoon series,3 toylines,a collectors toyline,2 comic book series,and even a live action movie.

Mina: Now We Could go into detail about the Franchises Origins,but I'm not. Instead I'm gonna focus on the 80's Cattoon series.

He-Man and the Masters of the Universe was produced by Filmation based on Mattel's successful toy line Masters of the Universe.

Mina: Like Most 80's Cartoons.

The show, often referred to as simply "He-Man",was one of the most popular animated shows of the 1980s and has retained a heavy following to this day.

Mina: Seriously? Personally,I never found that show to be all that great. It was kinda campy.

The Show made its television debut in 1983 and ran until 1985, consisting of two seasons of 65 episodes each. Reruns continued to air in syndication until 1988,at which point USA Network bought the rights to the series. USA aired He-Man until September 1990.

The show takes place on Eternia,a planet of magic,science,technology,and fantasy.

The show's lead character is Prince Adam,the young son of Eternia's rulers,King Randor and Queen Marlena. Whenever Prince Adam uses the Power Sword,holds it aloft and says "By the Power of Grayskull...I have the Power!" he is transformed into He-Man, The Most Powerful Man In The Universe. And Cringer,his cowardly Tiger companion,becomes Battle Cat.

Mina: Of course,that was an exaggeration.

He-Man,with the help of Battle Cat,Teela,Man-At-Arms and Orko,defends Eternia from the evil forces of Skeletor.

Skeletor's main goal is to conquer the Castle Grayskull and if he succeeds,Skeletor would be able to conquer not only Eternia,but the whole galaxy.

Mina: Skelletor in this series is a bafoon,like most Cartoon Baddies at the Time.

He-Man was notable for breaking the boundaries of censorship for Cartoons in the 1970s. For the first time in years,a cartoon series could feature a muscular superhero who was actually allowed to hit people.He rarely used his sword and often picked up his opponents and threw them.

Mina: Though in retrospect,the Show was still censored.

The cartoon was openly critisized for the fact that it was based on a Toy-line.Y'see during this period it was not very cool or common to have a TV show that was based on a toy-line. Some didn't like the fact that the show was being used to sell toys.

Mina: Though that later changed in the mid-80's.

Like many Cartoons of the 80's,He-Man and the Masters of the Universe would include a "life lesson" or "moral of the story" at the end of each episode. This moral was usually directly tied to the action or central theme of that episode.

Mina: PSA's in Cartoons are annoying as hell.

The show was so successful that it spawned a spin-off series,She-Ra: Princess of Power,which was also based on a Toy-Line. I covered that in my She-Ra Lesson.

Mina: The one where Sailor Moon Co-hosted,right?


Anyway,He-Man had some notable writers such as J. Michael Straczynski,Paul Dini,and David Wise. One episode was written by Star Trek's D.C. Fontana.

Mina: Cool.

Though the animated cartoons were similar to the DC Comics,Filmation focused more on the lighter, humorous elements of the story rather than the violent ones. This was to make things more suitable for a younger audience.

A new character was also introduced in the form of Orko,a small alien magician who shares Prince Adam's secret and provides the comic relief for most episodes.

Mina: Interesting tidbits. So DC comics Actually made a He-Man comic?

The cartoon series was also remarkable because it was one of the first animated series produced directly for syndication,as opposed to most other syndicated cartoons of the time which were re-runs of old Saturday morning shows.

It was also the very first American Action Cartoon where the quantity of 65 episodes were produced so that the series could be expanded across 13 weeks.
Due to the budget-constraints by Filmation,the He-Man cartoon only featured a voice-cast of four to five people,after Erika Scheimer joined the cast.

Mina: Like With The Thundercats. Their Voice Cast was about 6-8 People.

Linda Gary single-handedly provided voices for nearly all the female characters,

Mina: Hey,as long as none of the dudes were providing female voices,it's perfectly ok.

But the bulk of the character voices were provided by the show's executive producer, Lou Scheimer,one of Filmation's Founding Fathers. The character voices of He-Man and Beast Man were provided by John Erwin. Skeletor was done by Alan Oppenheimer.

A common misconception about the cartoon series is that it was cheap to produce,due to the small number of voice actors and heavy reliance on stock animation.

However,the series was quite expensive to produce at that time,as the Show was created here in the U.S.,rather than having the animation done overseas.

Mina: That was a mistake on their part. I'm sure The show would've been better if it was animated in Korea or Japan.

Ok,now for something Interesting.

There is an urban legend about the so-called "Conan toy line.". The story is that the Mattel Toy Company originally intended to base an action figure line on Conan the Barbarian,which at the time was the lead in several popular series produced by Marvel Comics and due to be the subject of a major movie.

However, after viewing the film,the Mattel executives desided that it would be a huge mistake to create a Toy-Line that's based on a graphicly violent film. A common attitude shared by all major toy companies at the time. Thus they gave their figure blonde hair and re-dubbed him "He-Man".

Mina: As we all know that attitude faded out in the 90's,as there were many toylines based on PG-13 and R-rated Movies.

The legend is unverified but persistent,and most likely false since the first He-Man action figures were produced in 1981,a year before the first Conan film. Roger Sweet,the originator of He-Man,asserts that the He-Man/Masters Of The Universe concept definitely was not an outgrowth of Conan.

Since this has nothing to do with the cartoon,I'm not going any farther.

Mina: In 2009, IGN ranked the series as the 58th greatest animated show of all time in their Top 100 list. Amazing,huh?

In conclusion,He-Man and the Masters of the Universe is a Classic Cartoon that's proved it's worth. With it's popularity still going,I wouldn't be surprised if we saw yet another rendition of the series in the future.

Well that's gonna do it for now.

Mina: So,which lesson are you gonna redo next?

I think I'm leaning towards The Simpsons.

Mina: Sweet.

This is The Cartoon Historian saying Stay Gold.

Mina: Laters.

*fade to black. credits roll as the He-Man closing theme plays*

Friday, March 2, 2012


The Following is something I need To Get Off My Chest. Something that's been annoying Me All Week. And That Something is...Disney! More specifically Bob Iger and his Chronies.

Now it's no secret that I utterly despise Robert Iger and his minions. So Today I'm gonna rant about the most recent attrocoties that Iger and Co. have done.

Ok besides creating more Mentaly Challanged Teen Sitcoms,Iger and his minions recently decimated Peter Pan's Legacy. Yup,they Still have no respect for their classic stars. Dumbasses!

But that's not all,Iger had his shitheaded lackies at the Disney Channel cut Phineas and Ferb from a half-hour show to 15 minutes. What The Hell's The Matter With You,Disney! Looks like Ditzney is showing signs of Distain for their Greatest Show.

Ok,if it's the Animation budget I understand,perfectly in fact. But coudn't they Get Rid of Shit-fest Cartoons like Fishooks? That way the budget could go to Pheneas and Ferb aka the Only Good Disney Channel Show. But No,Disney loves wasting good money on shows that people hate.

And speaking of Money Wasting Dicisions. Iger has decided create a 24-hour pre-school network. This network is called Disney Jr. Rip-Off of Viacom Much! Ugh! Disney is not only copying Viacom's Ideas,but also emulating their mistakes. If you've seen my "Stefan vs Viacom" rant,You know how I feel about 24-Hour PreSchool Networks.

Iger Stop Pandering To THe PreSchoolers! But wait,Theres more. It looks like Another retarded Teen Disney Sitcom has come DisneyXD. It's Wizards of Waverly Place. Way to ruin the Networks potential even more,Disney*Facepalm*.

WoWP is Retarded and on top of that it's still airing on The Disney Channel. Stop Doing That,Ditzney! Stop Putting Garbage that Airs on Disney Channel on Disney XD! Iger's Cronies are Really really Stupid.

And it gets worse,Remember when Ditzney said that Disney XD was gonna be for Boys 9-13? Well. WRONG!!!!!! This Network airs commercials for not only Girls toys(like dolls),but lame Stuffed Animals. And please,please don't gimmie that hyper bullshit about how boys that age play with dolls and stuffed animals.

On a side note,ABC Family has gotten worse. So now they are in an even deeper rut.

Y'know what,I take it back. Iger's cronies aren't really really stupid after all. They Are Way Beyond Stupid! *sighs* Walt and Roy Disney are Pissed off In Heaven Right now.

Why Iger? Why would you put such Mental Rejects in Charge of you're networks? Well,the method to Bob Iger's madness is that he is,in fact,Lucifer's/Satan's 2nd Cousin. That's right,Bob Iger Isn't Human,but either a Demon or a Demon/Human hybrid.

Whitney Huston and Davy Jones were the wrong people to Die last month. It should've been Bob Iger and his Cronies. Bob Iger,do us all a favor and Go Back To Hell! And Take your cronies with You!