Cartoon Network,once a haven,is now a ruined city with a huge toxic pool. Destroyed by a Terrorist act called 'Executive Meddling'. Thanks to Stuart Snyder and,to a lesser extent,Jim Samples,Cartoon Network went from Awesome to Absolute Crap! Before we go into 'What Should Have Been',let's take a look at the History of the Network.
It all started in the 1986,when Turner Broadcasting acquired the MGM,Looney Tunes,and Popeye libraries. And in 1988,Turner aired these Cartoons on it's newly created TNT network. In 1990, Turner purchased animation studio Hanna-Barbera Productions and
acquired its large library. Sometime later,it bought the airing rights to most of the Ruby-Spears library. These Toons would be aired on a special block on TNT and the response was very positive.
On October 1, 1992, Cartoon Network was created as an outlet for
Turner's vast library of animation. The Launch programs for the network were
reruns of classic Warner Bros. cartoons,Popeye cartoons, MGM
cartoons,and Hanna-Barbera cartoons. Many Hanna-Barbera TV cartoons like
Magilla Gorilla were often used as time fillers.
the short cartoons aired in half-hour or hour-long packages, usually
separated by character or studio. For example,Down Wit' Droopy D aired
old Droopy Dog shorts, The Tom and Jerry Show presented the classic
cat-and-mouse team, and Bugs and Daffy Tonight provided classic Looney
Late Night Black and White showed early black
and white cartoons (mostly from the Fleischer Studios), and ToonHeads
aired themed cartoon shorts with original, unique bumpers and trivia
about the cartoons they were showing.
Another early show
was High Noon Toons, which was a programming block hosted by cowboy hand
puppets Haas and Lil' Jo. I never heard of that block before,but from
the sound of it,I bet it was Lame with a Capital L.
The network's first original show was The Moxy Show
and was created in 1993. In 1994,Hanna-Barbera's new subsidiary,Cartoon
Network Studios was founded and started production on The
What-A-Cartoon! Show (also known as World-Premiere Toons).
show premiered in 1995 and was made up of a series of independent short
cartoons. It was also the network's third original series,with the
second being Space Ghost: Coast to Coast.
The main purpose
of The 'What A Cartoon Show' was to help Cartoon Network expand its
library of exclusive programming. It introduced a number of new cartoon
ideas. Six of them were spun off into their own series runs.
These six series were: Dexter's Laboratory (1996), Johnny Bravo, Cow
and Chicken (1997), The Powerpuff Girls (1998), Mike, Lu and Og, and
Courage the Cowardly Dog (1999).
These shows were the first
batch of Cartoons known as Cartoon Cartoons. I Am Weasel (1997) and Ed,
Edd n Eddy (1999) were the first two Cartoon Cartoons not to be
introduced in a What A Cartoon short.
In 1996, Turner merged
with Time Warner. This lead up to a 2000
announcement that Cartoon Network would be the exclusive TV home of the
classic Warner Bros. animated library.
WB animated productions also started appearing on the network as old
Kids WB reruns. Though some modern WB cartoons,such as Teen Titans and
Justice League,were Cartoon Network exclusives.
popular program blocks made their debut,Toonami and Cartoon Cartoon
Fridays. Toonami was a weekday afternoon block that aired Action
Cartoons and Anime. The block was first hosted by Moltar of Space Ghost
Coast to Coast and then by the Tom androids.
was,without question,Cartoon Networks most popular program
block...well,until 2006 that is,where the block itself was decimated.
The block ended in 2008.
Anyway,Cartoon Cartoon Fridays
otherwise known as CCF was a Friday Night Block that was hosted by the
Cartoon Cartoons themselves and later by 2 human hosts. This block ended
in late 2006 and was replaced with the crappy Fried Dynamite.
Network underwent its 2nd makeover (the first being in 1996)on June 12,
1998,launching the Powerhouse theme that was used until June of 2004.
Adult Swim began as a small block in Late 2001,it's purpose was to air shows that Adults to enjoy. As it got bigger and bigger,the block became more stupid,radical,and cringeworthy. It turned to complete crap in 2005. But,in 2009/2010,AS was re-classified as a Network and time-shared with CN. Why Time Warner didn't just give AS is own separate Network during that time is beyond me.
Anyway....Let's talk about the Bumpers.
Powerhouse theme had bumpers involving characters from most of the
cartoons it aired or objects and places with the Cartoon Network's
Checkerboard logo. The word NEXT was used in several "Coming up Next"
There were multiple color variations for the bumpers
backgrounds: Yellow for morning timeslot, Green for afternoon timeslot,
Blue for evening timeslot, Purple for action cartoons (used in all
timeslots),Black for overnight timeslot (starting at midnight),Red for
specials and Thanksgiving,Black with Orange outlines for Halloween,and
White and Light Blue for Christmas.
Often, an announcer would
say something witty over these bumpers...up until 2003 that is. Other
times they had a music cue that was a cross between the show's theme and
Raymond Scott's "Powerhouse".
There were also animated bit
segments,with several variations for each one. In 2003,the "Powerhouse"
theme music was replaced with the show's own theme song.
Don't you wish Cartoon Network still did this? Anyway,In 2004,Miguzi
made it's debut and replaced Toonami on the weekdays. Toonami was moved
to Saturdays and Adult Swim got bigger.
On June 14, 2004,
Cartoon Network updated its logo, and its slogan: “This is Cartoon
Network!” This is also the first CN era with a female voice announcer.
Although she was eventually replaced with no such voices announcing for
the network since.
Cartoon Network's 1st president,Shawn
Grove,left Cartoon Network due to a major heart attack.Jim Samples took
his place. The first program ever aired on the relaunched Cartoon
Network was Rescue Heroes,a shitty Canadian show that used to air on
the,now extinct,CBS Saturday Morning Block.
And thus the Canadian Invasion begins. An invasion that should've been prevented.
In fact,Canadian Cartoons are one of the many reasons why Cartoon Network is damaged beyond repair.
new bumpers featured 2D cartoon characters from their shows interacting
in a CGI city made up of sets from their own shows.
nearly all of Cartoon Network's classic cartoon programming had been
relocated to its sister network Boomerang,which was created in 2003,to
make way for new programming. However,they did manage to keep Tom and
Jerry and Scooby-Doo. 2 shows that are currently being milked to death
by those lowlife CN executives.
On April 10, 2006, the
network removed more shows from the 1990s and scrapped the CGI City
look. Later that year,shows like Time Squad (2001), Mike, Lu & Og
(1999), I Am Weasel (1997), Looney Tunes,and Sheep in the Big City
(2000) were also taken off the network. What Jerks!
In Early 2006,Cartoon
Network changed it's slogan once again,this time it was the simplistic
“Cartoon Network — Yes!,” and was spoken by Fred Fredburger, a character
on The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy.
The network also
used bumpers featuring the cast of Camp Lazlo (2005) as stick puppets
and characters in front of a red background. How Stupid!
2006-2007 campaign featured three different styles of bumpers. The first
style is "Lunchbox of Doom", featuring an assortment of show clips
inside a CGI Gothic lunchbox,witch was a reference to an episode of The
Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy.
The second is "VS.", comparing two cartoon characters. Their final style was a remake of the 2004 CGI City look.
Samples,2nd president of the Cartoon Network,resigned on February 9,
2007 due to the Boston Mooninite Scare. Samples had been network
president for three years after Shawn Grove.
Stuart Snyder,aka The Man Who Made Everything Worse,was named as Samples' successor and he took control on May of 2007.
Under Snyder's control, Cartoon Network underwent a number of terrible
changes. Through 2007,Cartoon Network retained the image campaign that
began in 2006.
On September 1, 2007, the networks look was
revamped. Bumpers and Station Identification were themed to The Hives
song "Fall is Just Something That Grown-Ups Invented". These aired for
several months. It was a disaster to say the least.
A month later, on October 15, the channel began broadcasting in high definition. It was Suckage in HD.
Anyway,every October since 2007, Cartoon Network airs
Goosebumps,a show that once aired on Fox Kids program. In April 2008,
Cartoon Network began airing a one minute sign-off bumper, depicting a
child's daily activities from sunrise to nighttime. In the end, it reads
"Good Night. See you tomorrow!" before Adult Swim began.
It was their first sign-off bumper after 7 years of
showing such a nightly block. This sign-off was later revised to match
the network's new look. It now simply shows a square saying "10:00",
followed by "Check Ya Later" and the new CN logo.
2008,Cartoon Network announced that it was working on a new project
called "Cartoonstitute", which was headed by animators Craig McCracken
(as executive producer) and Rob Renzetti (as supervising producer). Both
report to Rob Scorcher, who created the idea.
would've worked in a way similar to What A Cartoon!
However,Cartoonstitute was eventually cancelled, and only one of the
shorts,Regular Show,was selected.
Cartoon Network had also
begun to air some imported Canadian programs from Teletoon such as
George of the Jungle, 6teen,The Total Drama Series,and Chaotic. This was
one of the Stupidest errors that Cartoon Network has ever made.
On May of 2008,
Cartoon Network began airing animated shorts, called Wedgies. These
shorts were used to fill in spots between shows.
On July of 2008,
the network changed looks yet again. This new look was created by
Tristan Eaton and Kidrobot. The bumpers of that era had white, faceless
characters called Noods. The Noods look similar to the do-it-yourself
toy known as Munny, also created by Kidrobot. This look was retarded.
Nood would often come in contact with a color blob or a color bar and
absorb the color to become either a Cartoon Network character or change
into another color. Other bumpers featured characters interacting with
one another. Various commercial parodies starring the characters of
Carton Network also aired.
From July 2008 to October 2008, Greg Cipes, Kevin's voice actor in Ben 10: Alien Force,became the network's announcer.
has since been replaced with Will Arnett. The programming blocks were
also changed to fit in with this look, with different Noods being used.
In June 2009, a block of live-action reality shows began airing in a programming block promoted as CN Real.[which has now ended]
The network has also aired some limited sports programming, including
Slamball,during the commercial breaks. On February of 2010, Cartoon
Network started using bumpers that feature Noods being formed by
real-life objects such as paint, grass, and confetti. Sometime later,the
Noods were replaced.
Soon after,Cartoon Network debuted a
third logo. This logo was featured on the network's "Move It Movement"
tour. It made its television debut in May along with a new theme and new
bumpers. Also,the Noods were phased out.
Also in 2010,The CN Real block ended. Thank God! However,just because CN Real died off,didn't mean that the network was gonna get better. It was still in terrible terrible shape. Even without CN Real,they still aired Live-Action crap. Live-Action Movies are also a mainstay now.
Last year,Stuart Snyder was replaced
as Cartoon Network President. I forgot the new presidents name,but she can't undo the damage,in fact,she could be upholding the Status Quo set by Snyder. She might be a Stuart Snyder fangirl deep down.
And even though Stuwie Snyder is no longer at Cartoon Network,his influence is still alive and well.
What Happened: Stuart Snyder!
What Should've Been: Stuart Snyder is never hired and his influence is non-existent. A more "in touch" person is hired instead.
What Happened: Live Action and CN Real!
What Should've Been: Live Action shows and movies are Never allowed to air. And the Abomination known as CN Real isn't even a thought.
What Happened: Canadian Cartoons.
What Should've Been: They are either never allowed to air OR they are confined to a block dedicated to Canadian stuff.
What Happened: Adult Swim Extention
What Should've Been: There were many Intellegent ways to handle this. 1 - Move the block from Cartoon Network to TBS. That makes much more sense,as AS fits way better on TBS,than on CN. 2 - When turning the block into a "Network",ether have it time-share with TBS or give it it's own Channel.
What Happened: Thise Annoying Anti-Bulling PSAs.
What Should've Been: No PSAs Period! Besides,They. Don't. Work! Period! Thus,a waste of time and money.
What Happened: Bumpers,Promos and stuff featuring Kids.
What Should've Been: This Never Ever Happens!
What Happened: Milking and Over-Milking.
What Should've Been: These things never happen.
What Happened: The various short lived Pre-School blocks.
What Should've Been: Any and All Kiddie Crap is Unworthy of Cartoon Network and it's Fans,thus they are Never allowed to air.
As you can obviously tell,Cartoon Network is just a shell of it's former self and Nothing can be done to restore it.
That's it for now. Next time on ACF,The SatAM Block Rater. So until then,
See Ya,Space Cowboy.